26 - Eat, Drink, be Merry - Open to SPAM

[umgekehrt]

[The image opens on a grinning, ruined face, framed in the background by a cat-o-nine hanging over a shelf of bottles.]

So many old faces returning to Port! Welcome home, gentles and all good souls.

Come by the Lash, if you're after a good drink and a decent meal. A free drink for anyone who can land themselves on Commodore Perfect Prefect's list of shame in the first day home!

[This is par for the course for old Stoneface Stildyne; he's always advertising, always luring travellers to his tavern, 'the Lash.' (Where there's rum, among other things.)

And it could be a good deal worse; it's certainly on the bawdier, grimier side of things compared to Iroh's establishment, but it's safe enough. Ladies can drink unmolested; men will escape with no worse than a goosed bum, and since Simone signed on as cook the food's actually worth the eating. There's music now, too, and fortunes told, courtesy of Felix and Arkady.

Don't try to rob the place. Stoneface may be a deserter, but he didn't abandon his aim with a flintlock, or the muscles of a seaman. Just because he limps doesn't mean he can't kick your arse halfway across the town.]

Comments

[buywithme]

You shouldn't be encouraging them.

[Shame on you, Stildyne! He knows you used to stand for something!]

[umgekehrt]

Oh, says the hofficer..

If you didn't have a spar wedged so tightly up your aft, maybe you'd have Friends at home to pay your ransom.

[buywithme]

Oh, but why would I have needed friends back home when I had all of you out here waiting for me?

[umgekehrt]

Oh, I'd be more than hospitable if it weren't for that aforementioned spar.

[buywithme]

You call it that, I'll call it integrity, and loyalty to King and Country, and I'll take it over your hospitality any second of the day.

[umgekehrt]

King and country left you rotting in that cell near three months now. I never detain a young man longer than a night. And I promise, they leave in far better spirits than you.

Naval Captain Crane is naval. c:

[doctor_j_crane]

Commodore Prefect's list is a most virtuous one. It would do you good not to besmirch it. Every man on it deserves the rope three times over.

[umgekehrt]

[You rich bastards pay press-gangs. You can all take a long walk off a short plank.]

Then you'll have to pay for your drinks, Captain Crane.

[doctor_j_crane]

I do not drink, sir. It sours the soul and dims the mind. I cannot fathom a man that would lower himself sufficiently to sell such filth.

[umgekehrt]

Oh can't you fathom it? Well come down and you can fathom me all night long.

[Yes, that was a horrible come-on, and yes, he meant you to cringe.]

[doctor_j_crane]

[Captain Crane cringes, more than a bit.] I would only fathom you if you happened to be on the end of a rope.

[can_has_vodka]

Oh love, stop wasting time on those stuffed shirts, I have something to show you! Oh, and I have a copy for Felix as well. Have you seen him about?

Spam

[umgekehrt]

But what'll I do if I haven't got pretty men to terrify, Arkady?

[But he comes along quickly enough, interested in whatever his odd serving-woman has in store today.]

Haven't seen him all morning, but I expect he'll be in tonight.

Spam

[can_has_vodka]

[She has a couple of odd looking decks of cards with her, with images of people on them.] It's a deck of Spanish playing cards, like the gypsies use! No more of that worn out dog-eared poker deck for me!

Spam

[umgekehrt]

Hff. You know what I think of you reading the deck when you're meant to be working.

[Belied by the fact that he's leaned in to examine the cards.]

Do mine.

Spam

[can_has_vodka]

Oh pish, love, the only thing left out there to polish are the pirates. Though some of them could use it.

[She shuffles.] Viva La Baraja Espanol!

[...and starts laying down cards.] Knight of swords, that's you...and covering you...oh, that's promising. Le Sota de Bastos. Page of clubs. A younger man, from a common background, rustic, straightforward and hardworking....

[Threadjack of Spam?]

[itstopped]

[Felix limps in as Arkady is in the middle of Stildyne's reading, giving the nod to the proprietor -- but they seem busy, so he keeps out of the way for now, going to settle himself in his usual corner. He's typically a quiet sort, except for the thump of his peg-leg... until he starts to sing, at least.]

[More spam yay]

[can_has_vodka]

[As Arkady winds up the reading she glances up--and sees Felix doing his thing off in the corner.] Felix! Feeeeeelix! [She bounces up and dances over in a burst of enthusiasm, then stops nearby, rocking on her heels in excitement.] Got something from the Spaniards for you!

[More spam yay]

[itstopped]

The same gift you gave Stildyne? [He flashes a small, curious smile, pushing himself back up to greet her when she comes over. Her mysticism is... strange, to him, who's not sure what he believes in, but it is certainly interesting.]

[More spam yay]

[can_has_vodka]

[She rummages in her apron pocket and comes out with a fresh pack of cards, still wrapped up.] I got these two from the Spaniards, who use them to play games as well. I thought you'd find them of interest even if you decide not to play with them.

[myfedorarocks]

Good to be back. It gives me time to resupply for the ship.

Captain got a bit worried, running so low on medical supplies, you see.

[umgekehrt]

Much trouble out there? I've been hearing the sea serpents are stirred up, on top of the usual friendly conflicts.

[myfedorarocks]

Indeed!

A few months ago, the crew was attacked by a kraken. Captain had me working very hard then.

[He sounds almost gleeful.]

One man lost an arm.

[umgekehrt]

Hope they don't pay you by the salvaged limb, then! Where have you been, what's the far gossip?

[myfedorarocks]

Been at sea for months. Pillaging and all that. Well, I haven't. I prefer to stay on the ship. I am a doctor, after all. Not too good at the fighting.

Word is that bigwig whatshisface-- the one missing an eye and an ear on the left side of his face, the one with the braided beard? Word is he got himself captured by the navy.