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[Narvin's just going to pretend that that port conversation didn't happen.]

What can I help you with, Mr. Stildyne?

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Coordinator. [And that title-as-greeting is as much 'good to see you back to yourself' as Stildyne is going to make the man deal with.]

It's about the Lord President and his lover.

I've hit some kind of Time Lord cultural landmine. I'm not sure what. I'm hoping you or the Doctor can shed some light. Not the first time I've run afoul of a taboo I wasn't aware of. First time I've got no idea where the misstep was, though.

My conversation with the Lord President's a matter of public record. Honestly not sure why this happened.

[He shows him this conversation with Omega.]

Came to you because you're patient enough to work me through it. I'm hoping. [And because Narvin's lover isn't Stildyne's inmate, though probably better not to mention considering the tension that exists there.]

Of course don't show it about if it's sensitive. Other Time Lords should be all right.

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I'll illuminate what I can.

[He pauses as he considers where to begin.]

Lord Rassilon deeply hates aliens. Most Time Lords are suspicious of them; we have to be since... [Wait, no, this isn't the time to justify Time Lord xenophobia.] One non-Gallifreyan acquaintance of mine accused us of despising the unalike. [Added, half to himself.] I wonder now if the non-interference policy was instituted as much to keep us away from aliens as it was to protect the web of time.

So you'll have a bit of an uphill battle gaining his trust, simply because you didn't have the good fortune to be loomed Gallifreyan.

I don't know what's in his file, obviously, and I don't know what he might have gone through off Gallifrey, but on Gallifrey he is used to getting his way, to being both feared and revered. He's not just our president, he's our founder, the creator of our culture. We used to swear by his name. In our primarily secular society, he's the closest thing we have to a prophet.

I also don't know much about his current relationship with Omega, but there's a billion years of baggage there. Rumours of rivalry and betrayal, probably feelings of guilt and abandonment... I wouldn't be surprised if the emotional dynamics are a little...charged. As I understand it from the reports I've read, Omega spent a few million years believing that Rassilon had tried to arrange his death. So he might be overly invested now in proving that he trusts Rassilon, to make up for millennia of suspicion.

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Frankly I wasn't surprised by how Lord Rassilon took my assignment to him. His file--well, I won't talk about it, his privacy. But yes, I know why he doesn't like me.

It's Omega that's lost me.

Overinvested, yes, I can believe. But making out from the first word as if I've got a vendetta against your whole race. That's not just the matter of a man angry his lover's been offended. That's serious politics I've got to sort out if I'm to help Lord Rassilon at all.

I'm not to make headway if his warden lover is as convinced as I am that I'm an idiot to be ordered around. Speaking frankly. So I need to know what nerve I hit to get that warm reception.

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It could be something as simple as the fact that you're an outsider, a stranger. As a race we tend to follow the philosophy that knowledge is power, and we guard our secrets jealously. You suddenly entering the scene, armed with that file...he may have perceived it rather like a potential hostile walking in with a charged blaster.

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Ugh. All right, understood. At least I haven't insulted someone's mother. Figuratively speaking. Though, almost be easier to make it up if I had. We'll see if I can set it on course.

I owe you a favor now.

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I'll hold you to that. [A favour from Rassilon's warden might be useful some day.]

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How might I be of assistance? [Being a Wizard is stupid. He's trying to shake it off.]

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Well. I talked to Omega as you suggested.

Only apparently I went about it wrong. [He shows the Doctor the same conversation he showed Narvin.]

Rassilon taking so well to me, I expected. Particularly from his file. It didn't go well, of course it didn't.

But I swear I haven't had any contact with him but that one encounter-- so it must have been something I said then or something in the way I talked to Omega. To cause that sterling example of communication there.

How do I convince the man I'm not an idiot. I've given up suggesting that his lover might have to face discipline. Ever. I've already dipped my expectations from graduating the Lord President to keeping him from assaulting anyone. Else. But if warden and inmate both are convinced I'm taking a high hand. I must have done something wrong.

Rassilon doesn't have to respect me. But if Omega doesn't at least trust me an inch. I've got no power to keep Rassilon from hurting anyone. Omega will only harbor him. Hands tied.

[He sighs. It's frustrating and he's doing his damnedest.]

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[There's some swearing in some strange language that Narvin might recognize as Gallifreyan if he filter spies, sort of distantly from the communicator as he's stepped away from it.] This is why I threw mys-

[No, not him.

And he's back a moment later.]

I would say through security and persistence. Before he discovered the relationship Narvin was having with him he seemed to get along with Agent K. [The Doctor, releasing cats from bags since 1963 and various years in that region.]

But I... honestly don't know what to make of that. [Muffled sound of him pulling off his hat and running his hand through his hair.]

You can't

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Doctor?

[Stildyne sounds alarmed -- hadn't expected that and it confirms that there's something deeper there he's missing.]

Doctor. Are you all right.

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I'm quite fine. It's just you can't. It's much like leading a gift horse to water and looking him in the mouth, he must be amiable to the idea. The only way to make him amiable to the idea is to establish that your interests are fair ones and not implicitly vindictive towards him.

I'm not certain how intelligible that was. [He's a little confused with himself.]

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They are. My intentions.

[he's not sure about that idiom but he doesn't have much to do with horses.]

It's convincing either of them as much, without completely giving up any authority I might have. Not sure how.

Persistent. At least. I can manage.

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You shouldn't have to convince Omega, that much is true. Your standpoint is completely accurate. What does it say of the rest of the cosmos if he needs a Time Lord's approval over anything before he accepts it?

Thus far, what demands have you made of Rassilon in comparison to the demands he's placed upon you?

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I haven't demanded anything of him. But I've read his file. Enough to make a man hate you. I understand.

I didn't think my reactions to the man were so beyond the pale. But obviously there's something.

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That's what I was expecting, actually. That you hadn't done much.

Keeping in mind, we don't even share our names frequently. He was probably morbidly afraid of it. But a file, with all of its secrets, is a dangerous thing even to a human. I've made the mistake of trusting the wrong person with one before thinking that I was in the right.

But you are the man that needs to know, and be trusted with that information.

Give me a bit of time to think on it, perhaps? Apparently three days of positive surroundings has inspired an equal and opposite reaction. [And Sexby's not even loose yet.] Things must be seen to.

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You aren't wrong, doctor.

Appreciate the time to talk it over with me. In the interim I'll blunder on.

Sure you're all right? I've upset enough Time Lords to get me through the week at least.

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The delicate petals of my emotional flower require a heavier touch than yours, Mr. Stildyne. [Somehow this isn't supposed to be dirty.] Should a Bernice Summerfield ever appear on board, you'll understand why.

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Out of respect for your tender virgin ears I won't regale you with the stories of the delicate flowers I've touched heavily.

[Deadpan face. But yes, now it is irrevocably dirty.]

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That's much appreciated.

[Somewhere there is a Time Lord pretending with all his might that he can't blush.]

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