umgekehrt

I'm the Lord High President Rassilon's new warden. Think I need to talk to you about a few questions of protocol and inter-barge politic.

[OOC: Backdated to before Fairytale Port. All the slowtime. :(]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

rass-bestie.livejournal.com

First of all, don't talk like that. Your knowledge of bureaucratic double-speak isn't impressive and gets in the way, particularly given that it isn't your normal mode of speech, it smacks of pandering, which will be flagged as disrespect.

Secondly, don't treat Rassilon like a spoiled brat. He is not a spoiled brat, he's a scared, terrified brat. [Still a brat though, can't deny that.] He screams and shouts because he's frightened, not because he's used to getting his way. He's really not used to getting his way, he's used being attacked. Your refusal to not listen to him was interpreted as such.

If you're going to keep treating him like that, then you might as well ask the Admiral for a repairing as you'll be wasting your time and he won't come to you for anything which will put me in the position as 'warden' and [His tone comes off desperate] I can't, I just can't. I... he'll hurt someone... again... [He cuts himself off.]

We may be Time Lords. But we're still people. Learn that before speaking to him again.

[Pause.] Hello.

From:

der-umgekehrte.livejournal.com

[Oh by all the random deities he doesn't believe in. Are they all like this when they hit a certain rank or is it sexually transmitted.

There's a long, disgusted silence.

Then, with brutal honesty.]

This is my native language or close to it. I've been in Fleet since I was 18. This is how they break us in to speak. Yes officer, no your excellency, at the autocrat's pleasure. I'll call him the rank he's comfortable being called because that's my style and nature. I'll be an ass in bureaucrat to him because it's the only way you can talk back, some ships, and all the long words distract you from being angry. Think you'll agree I need to never be angry back at him. But if you'd like me to speak in my rusty mother tongue, pardon me, near thirty yearssince I used it. My accent may be off.

[He is not angry but frustrated and still almost batteringly frank.]

You condescending jackass. You can drop whatever pre-notions you've got about my 'normal mode of speech' and drop them now. This is my job. My job is to help him. I want to help him. Do you know the people I've worked with. Or are you just assuming. I know what terror looks looked and I've seen it kill men.

But he's abusive. I've been shown how he treated his last warden. A person half his size. At least I can take a few knocks and stand back up if he decides to exercise his temper.

But our relationship won't be based on the idea that I'll react well when he threatens. I won't argue but I won't hop to his orders. I'll do my best to keep him comfortable. But I won't coddle him.

You just message me when you're ready to speak to a man, not a frightened servant to be instructed in his own damned job. Think I've already got my answers, though I hope I'm wrong.

And hello.

From:

rass-bestie.livejournal.com

No, you're assuming. I've not mentioned what people you've accompanied, I'm talking about how you've acted here. There were no 'sirs' or 'madams' to anyone else, but the moment you talk to him you start pretending that you're here to be his servant, his security, when you're here as his warden. That's disingenuous, and accusing him of being spoiled, is just going to get his back up. And there's plenty of time to get his back up. The initial introduction is not the time to do that!

He's had a servant that talked back to him, and you consider what Rose had to put up with as abuse, then you have no idea what he did to him.

I'm not asking you to base your relationship on yielding to him, I can do that! Well, no, I can't, but... Yielding to him is the last I'm asking of you.

You don't want to act like a servant? THEN DON'T. Particular not that servant.

I don't want you to die. He came to me, because he wanted to kill you. Because he's convinced himself that you're here to break him. He won't come to you unless you convince him otherwise.

From:

der-umgekehrte.livejournal.com

[...
This is Stildyne's 'really?' face.]

Let's be clear. I'm not acting as his servant. I haven't once. I'm acting as his warden. And if that involves disagreeing to his presidential face, it's because I disagree.

The things he said to that woman were abuse. The existence of worse experience doesn't make it not so.

I wanted to ask you if you were going to let him hide behind your apron if ever he did something so bad he'd need punishment. Starting to see that it's the wrong question. Better ask, do you trust me not to be unreasonable in understanding when that is. Clearly you don't.

Omega. I want what's best for him. I know you do as well.

But. With all respect due. If you think his behavior's been harmless. You are too damn close to the situation. And he's never going to learn that I'm not here to break him. If you're there acting as if my every word is an unreasonable imposition.

I'll ask you as politely as I can. Trust that I've met and handled the powerful and the self destructive. Let me do my job. And don't cut me off at the ankles by letting him make you his second warden. You have te choice to let me work. And I can't make it for you.

From:

der-umgekehrte.livejournal.com

And I do use rank with those who have it and prefer it used. Of all the idiot things to quibble about. More important that I use it with the Lord President because we have a working relationship and I want him to know I respect his position.

But thanks for the dancing lessons.

[with some disgust]

From:

rass-bestie.livejournal.com

Yeah, I really want him to kill you, that's what I'm saying!

Did I say it was harmless? I said it could be worse! Just like killing someone here isn't harmless, but torturing and then killing someone is worse!

I don't let him! I have knock-down fights about this, but I still want to rescue him, that's an instinct of mine and one I don't enjoy suppressing, particularly given he does terrible things to people!

Have you ever cared for someone who hurts others, your friends, but doesn't dream of doing the same to you? Feel responsible for the things he does, even though there's nothing you can do to stop it? Try and fail and try again?

What do you think it was like for me to have him screaming at me that he was going to go and kill you? Despite me drilling it into him day after day that he shouldn't abuse those around no matter what other aliens have done to him in the past? That somehow, by not doing as he says, you deserved to die?

That's why it was unreasonable. Your desire to read the file, that wasn't unreasonable, your response to his temper, was. Stonewalling, while being disrespectful, made him angrier. Murderous.

And why is it you think I am taking this to you rather than him? I spent the last night making sure that he'll respond when you speak to him next, I'm not confident that I've succeeded.

Not when you're the one in charge. Gallifreyans live, breathe and die on 'dancing', for humans, it's a living, for us, it's a religion.

From:

der-umgekehrte.livejournal.com

I never said that you wanted him to kill me.

What I'm trying to convey is that his behavior is violent. Harmful to himself and others. Not just to me. It's not just my own safety I'm after. It's him. Behaving. Like a sentient being.

I don't want to know how you want me to respond to his temper. Because the way you respond to his temper isn't helping anything. You won't even give me my chance. It makes him angry? Then he'll need to cope with being angry. And see in time that even though I make him angry I don't mean him harm. Because that's how people work. That they function in society, at any rate. You can't shelter him from being annoyed. You've got to let him feel the sting of things that don't function at his will or he'll never lose his terror of them. I'm not going to hold fire to the soles of his feet, I'll do every small thing I can to make him comfortable. But I can't change the fact that he's an inmate. Aboard a prison ship. And he's here for a reason.

I told him I was reading his file. He said he wouldn't speak to me if I did. I gave him that. That's not stonewalling. Indulgence, possibly. But not stonewalling.

I won't talk down to him to remind him I'm his warden. In his state of mind it seems frankly cruel. I am going to function as his security alongside my duty as his warden. Because where I've come from that's what Security is for. To speak frankly: I worked with Inquisitors. My job to see that they didn't harm themselves. Didn't give in to their despair. Didn't take it out on the crew, the bond involuntaries.

And you're talking to me because I contacted you. But you came at me from word one with a lot more disdain and distrust than I'd reserved for you.

I was pleased that he had a lover and a friend aboard. Pleased because I knew I wouldn't ever be his dearest friend, for all I was trying to do best for him. I wanted him to have comfort in the ways I couldn't give.

For the little you'll find it worth. You can show every word of this conversation to him. It's filtered because I thought you wouldn't want his business about. But I haven't said anything here that I wouldn't tell him to his face.

And if he doesn't like being called by his rank, then I'll stop. But the reason I asked in the first place was to show I was willing to let him keep his place and dignity.

Did I go bullheaded and stupid when he barked at me? Of course. And he'll have to get used to it. I won't engage with him in a temper. I won't fight back with anything but literality, not until the moment I've got no other choice. But if he tells me. Hell. If you tell me because he won't. That he'd like any other address. I'll call him that. And mean it. I'm not mocking him.

And it's not to you to make him respond to me. That's down to him and me, Omega. That's why I contacted you. You can't be my proxy to him. Because you don't know me.

Let him come at me and hate me. I won't mistreat him, no matter the extent of his temper. Hell, even death is apparently no detriment. But I'm asking you to stay out of it. Comfort him when he hates me, when I offend him. Be his lover, his friend.

But don't speak on my behalf. Don't be his second warden. I appreciate the thought. But it won't work if you do. Don't you see that?